Adopted For Life

I want to suggest this book to you!  Brent has already finished it and I have just started it.  I hope to post about what I'm reading along the way.  Here is something Russell Moore says in his book,

"Adoption is, on the one hand, gospel.  In this, adoption tells us who we are as children of the Father.  Adoption as gospel tells us about our identity, our inheritance, and our mission as sons of God.  Adoption is also defined as mission.  In this, adoption tells us our purpose in this age as the people of Christ.  Missional adoption spurs us to join Christ in advocating for the helpless and the abandoned."

Do you think you should read this book?  I do.  Here's why:

"Adoption is not just about couples who want children-or who want more children.  Adoption is about an entire culture within our churches, a culture that sees adoption as part of our Great Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself.  This book is intended for families who want to adopt and wonder whether they should.  It is also intended for parents with children who've been adopted and who wonder how to raise them from here.  It is for middle-aged fathers and mothers whose children have just told them they are thinking about adoption.  But this book is also, and perhaps most especially, for the man who flinches when his wife raises the issue of adoption because he wants his "own kids"-and who hates himself a little for thinking that.  It is for the wife who keeps the adoption application papers in a pile on the exercise bicycle upstairs-as a "last resort"-but who is praying fervently right now for two lines of purple to show up on her home pregnancy test.  It is for the single twenty-something who assumes he will marry after a couple of years in the post college job force, find a nice girl, have a honeymoon for three or four years, and then they'll start thinking about getting pregnant.  It is for the pastor who preaches about adoption as an alternative to abortion on a Sanctity of Human Life Sunday but who has never considered how to envision for his congregation what it would mean to see family after family in the church directory in which the children bear little physical resemblance to, and maybe don't share the skin color of, their parents.  It is for the elderly couple who tithe their Social Security check, dote on their grandchildren, and wonder how they can tangibly help the young couple who ask for prayer every month that they might be parents-and who never seem to show up for Mother's Day services."

I could go on and on quoting from the book.  It's one of those books that I want to underline every other sentence.  I know we have one left in the GCC book room, or if you click on the book above it will take you to amazon.com!

A Visit to Our Home

Today our social worker came to our home to visit.  First she met with both of us to discuss how we met, how long we dated, what we like to do for fun, what our parenting style is like, and how we plan to discipline.

She also met Raelynn for the first time and asked her what she thinks about getting a new sister or brother:)  She agreed that Raelynn has a very good temperament and will adjust to getting a new sibling very well.  Raelynn could be almost two years old by the time our child comes home, and we will teach and train her how to be an older sibling.  Since our child will be a newborn, we feel the adjustment will be fine and would be no different than if it was a biological child.  We explained to the social worker that Raelynn is very social and has a lot of little friends at church and spends a lot of time with her cousin Jackson.

Next, we had private interviews with the social worker.  Before the meeting, we filled out our intake form with a lot of family history and personal information.  In our interviews, we basically just reviewed that information and told her about ourselves.  We had to tell her how we were raised, what our relationship with our family is like, and what high school was like for us.

Last, we gave a tour of the house.  This was really simple and I'm glad we didn't stress over it.  She just looked through the house at each room and of course had to make sure we had our firearms safe.

Today we have our doctor appointments to have a physical exam and then we will turn in that paperwork for our file.  We also need to get the most recent vet exam for Ike.  Otherwise, our file is complete.

The social worker said our CPS clearance came back so we are just waiting on the FBI fingerprint clearance to come.  She hopes to get a draft of our homestudy to us by the end of September and have the final copy by October 12.

Thank you for your prayers.

Our First Meeting

Today we met with our social worker from Southwest Adoption Services.  We handed in our paperwork and copies of our birth certificates, marriage license, and other important documents.  She went over our personal information with us and we discussed our reasons for adopting.  It was very relaxed and everything went well.  Our next meeting with her is on September 20.  She will interview each of us individually at our home. 

Right now we are waiting to get a letter from Maricopa County Court for our CPS clearance form as well as the clearance for our fingerprints from the FBI.  That takes 4-6 weeks and we cannot move forward until we get that processed.  We mailed those out on September 1, so Lord willing, by mid October we hope to have all this paperwork done so our social worker can submit the homestudy to the courts.  She said once it is submitted to the courts, it will be another 4-6 weeks.

John Piper on Adoption

Frequently Asked Questions

You ask "Why?" and we answer "Why not?"

God's timing is....perfect.  We have been pretty active with Crisis Pregnancy Center for the last couple of years.  Because of this, we have seen the alarming statistics on the number of the abortion in the United States as well as all over the world.  Our awareness of this, in addition to having our own daughter, as both a blessing and joy, is what God has used to place this desire on our hearts to adopt a child at this point in our lives.

We always thought we would adopt a child "when we were done having our own kids".  But as Allison was memorizing Ephesians 1:3-6, adoption was always at the front of her mind.  Not 15 years down the road, but now.  God had placed the desire on Allison's heart to adopt a child to be her own just as God has adopted her as His daughter. 

Allison brought this up to Brent, not expecting the response she got.  When Brent told Allison that he had already been praying about adoption for a while and he had the desire to adopt while continuing to have children of our own, Allison was very surprised and pleased. 

At this point, we prayed. and prayed. and prayed.  We sought counsel from others and felt that God was calling us to expand our family through adoption.

So, back to the WHY?
We wholeheartedly say to that question, "Why not?"  We cannot see any reason why we would not welcome a child into our home as our son or daughter.  We did nothing to deserve the grace and mercy that God poured out on us as His adopted children.  Through Christ's sacrifice and death on the cross, we are His blood bought children.  His death and resurrection has saved us from a life of utter destruction and an eternity in hell.  We have the opportunity to give that gift to a child, so why wouldn't we?  We can rescue a child from a life of poverty, foster care, or even no life at all as a result of abortion.  We can rescue that child as Christ has rescued us.  Not only will we give that child love and care, but we will raise the child in the fear and admonition of the Lord.  Our prayer is that one day we will not only call that child 'son' or 'daughter' but we will be able to call that child a brother in Christ.

As Christians, we feel that this is one way we can fulfill the Great Commission. We can bring the mission field home. We are called to care for the orphans and the fatherless. We want to bring God glory through our adoption.

International or Domestic?

At this time, we are pursing a domestic adoption. We are seeking a newborn baby with no preference towards race or gender.

How long will it take?

This is difficult to answer as the timeframe is different for everyone.  We obviously want it to be as quick as possible, but that may not be God's plan for us. First, we must complete a homestudy(which we have already begun that process). Once we are past the homestudy and are 'waiting parents' it becomes a waiting game until a prospective birth mother chooses us as the adoptive family.

Do you still want to have biological children?

Yes! We would be so thrilled if the Lord blesses us with another biological child.  We could very well end up with multiple children under the age of 3!  It is all in the Lord's hands and in His perfect timing our family will grow.

Isn't adoption expensive?

Yes, adoption can be very expensive and that is something we have taken into consideration. Yet, we feel very strongly that God has called us to adopt, and while it can be cliche to say "God will provide" it is still true. We truly beleive that God will provide the means for us to adopt. Whether it be through grants, donations, or some means we have not even thought of, we believe that God will be faithful to those who seek to bring Him glory.

How can you help?

First, we ask for your prayers and support. Just as God knit Raelynn in Allison's womb specifically for us, God is creating another child for us in the same way. We ask for prayer for us as we go through all the adoption steps.  We also ask that you would begin praying now for our child and for the birth mother. Finally, we would ask that you pray for God to provide the funds that we will need to adopt our child.

We will be having various fundraisers over the course of the next few months that we will need help and support to accomplish. We also have a PayPal 'Frazey Family Adoption Fund' account set up that you may donate to as well.

Let the Journey Begin

First of all, thank you for taking the time to read our blog.  As we begin this process, we decided that we want to share the "why?" and the "how-is-it-going?" with everyone along the way.  We want this blog to be a way we can communicate with our friends and family where we are in our adoption process, how you can be praying for us, and other ways you can support us.  We will provide updates along the way, so check back in from time to time!