My Mommy Minute: November 10

Hello!

Some light reads and some deeper.  I put my top reads first in the list.  I pray these encourage your heart and point you to Christ so that you can better know and love him and let that pour out on your children as you live out the gospel each day to them.

“Cheerfully embracing the mundane work in your life, diving into the challenges, working harder than you would think was possible at the little, at the trivial, at the boring–these are all ways to say, “Use me Lord; I am your servant.”

-Rachel Jankovic, "Fit To Burst"

"Mommy, Are You Happy?"  by Polly at Thriving Home

Funner, Part 4: Mess Investments by Rachel Jankovic at Femina

God of the Little Things by Jessalyn Hutto

When Your Child's Will Wears You Out by Daniele at The Better Mom

The Difficulty of Breathing  by Jessalyn Hutto

To the Momma at Chick-Fil-A by Becky Thompson at Sissortail Silk

Only Good Mommies... by Becky Thompson at Sissortail Silk

My Mommy Minute: October 29

If This Video Doesn't Make You Put Down Your Phone Nothing Probably Will at Viral Fury
Such good things to think about here!

How To Enjoy Every Moment When Not Every Moment is Enjoyable by Sara Wallace at The Gospel Centered Mom

Why I Unfriended Every Single One of My Facebook Friends by Davonne at Davonne Parks
I have often thought of this-or just deactivating FB all together.  "But what about the friends that live states away? What about the bloggers I follow? What about the encouraging links I would miss out on?" Eh.  In all honesty I just wish facebook didn't really exist.  But since it is there, there is a struggle.  Some things here to think through and evaluate our own hearts.

My Mommy Minute: October 10

Hi friend,
This is one of those weeks that every single one of these are so so good. No particular order, but each is worth your time.  Some longer than others, all rich with wisdom and encouragement.  Enjoy!

"To be a mother is by no means second class.  Men may have the authority in the home, but the women have the influence.  The mother, more than the father, is the one who molds and shapes those little lives from day one."
-John MacArthur

When Motherhood Drains Your Happiness by Carolyn Mahaney at GirlTalk
"But if we’ve become resentful of the demands of motherhood, discouraged and depressed in our routine, irritated and impatient with our children, chances are, we’ve lost sight of our God-given purpose as a mother."

The Inconvenience of Motherhood by Amanda Walker at The Aquila Report
"But this shaping can only happen as we give over our rights to ourselves and allow God the freedom to shape us."

Funner Part 3: Emotional Control by Rachel Jankovic at Femina
Part 1 and Part 2 were a previous My Mommy Minute post in case you missed them!

 

Remember, You Are Not Managing an Inconvenience, You Are Raising a Human Being by Rachel Miller at Daughter of the Reformation
"Exactly when did they go from precious blessings entrusted to me by God to small, loud, challenging things sent by God to interrupt my day?"

To The Mom Who Doesn't Recognize the Woman in the Mirror by Tricia Gillespie at The Domestic Fringe
"Those children who call you mom will leave a permanent mark, making you look different to those around you.  It’s a good kind of different."

 

Only For a Season

I remember not long ago (and not long before that, and before that time, too) that my survival was held together by the blessing of paper plates, generous people dropping off meals, and my husband cleaning up after dinner while I camped out in the rocking chair.

 

I remember what feels like long ago (but really wasn't that long!) when my house was spotless and I always had freshly pedicured toes.  When the clothes went straight from the dryer folded into the basket as I pulled them out. I remember spending hours during the summer months after my first year of teaching listening to sermons, journaling, and praying. 

 

There is a season for everything...some seasons are cyclical and some never return. I don't think my house will ever be spotless again, but I do hope that God's will would be to give us another child by any means He sees fit and force us to live off paper plates again.

 

For now, I'm finally able to use those paper plates for crafts with my kids again.

And for now, there sits a large pile of my husband's dress shirts on our bedroom floor that need to be ironed.

 

These were the thoughts I was having while I was making three meals at one time yesterday. Butternut squash in the crockpot, prepping shephard's pie for dinner (from scratch for the first time!) and prepping a freezer meal for another day.

 

My little helper:)

I surely don't say all this to boast.  I say all this as a reflection and encouragement for those hard seasons.  Right now, I am able to arrange my time at home and use my time to bless my husband, children, and others outside my home.  There are seasons of life though, that the body of Christ will be a blessing to us and minister to us when we are in need.  Both are such a time of blessing and rejoicing. 

It is easy to get down and feel dehydrated at times--even at times of great joy, like welcoming a new baby.  Time in the Word is hard to make, quiet time is rare, and it is just plain hard to keep our eyes open at times when we are surviving on sporadic hours of sleep. Our hearts pay the price. God is good all the time and in every season there is a reason to praise Him.

Survive.  Because sometimes that is the season.  But it's only for a season.  Then things will shift.  Recognize when that shift happens and allow it, embrace it, and thrive.  Recognize there are hard seasons, but be ready and willing to move out of them. And in every season, pray The Lord would restore to the joy of our salvation. 

I hope you are keeping your head above water.  I don't know your season.  But remember, it is only for a season.  And I know that I will look back and miss those seasons of barely keeping my head above water.  Even in the seasons of 'easier' living now when I have a toddler who can dress herself and fill her own cup of water, there is still so much pouring out of our lives that we do even as our children gain independence. There are still times I feel like I'm sinking (that's why it was nice to feel productive in the kitchen). I think in every season we can find little areas where we are just surviving but also where we are thriving.  I speak to myself the most when I say "Don't wish that away."  It may be winter, but summer will come. 

And our God is The God of every season. 

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" 

Ecclesiastes 3:1

"So I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his work, for that is his lot. Who can bring him to see what will be after him?" 

Ecclesiastes 3:22

My Mommy Minute: October 4

Hi friend,
Thanks for stopping by.  Can I tell you something?
It was a long day.  A good day.  A fun day.  A day that found me singing when the evening came.  But it was a day that I cooked and served dinner to my four kids and then cleaned up dinner and gave them all baths without daddy here.  (insert: I am SO grateful for my amazing husband who is normally wrestling on the ground during dish cleanup) Daddy was away for the entire day and I am not used to entertaining the kids while cooking and cleaning and doing baths.  (insert: mama is no fun at bath time)  Daddy usually does baths.  Daddy is super fun at bath time.  I on the other hand don't like splashing and just want to finish bath time so it can be bed time.  No excuses, but because I have an awesome husband who is such a present and hands on father, I am not used to doing this and things sort of crumbled.  It was a "we don't need to brush our teeth tonight, let's just go to bed" night. {Maybe I shouldn't have tried cornrowing my daughter's hair for the first time on a night like this?} Sometimes I wonder how God could use such a flawed person like me as a mother. I felt defeated. We ended the evening with mama holding my precious babies in my lap explaining how I need a Savior, too.  I was able to share the Gospel with my children because of my mistakes.  Because of my sin and shortcomings I was able to show them what it is to ask God for forgiveness and seek theirs as well.  A beautiful mess.  Beauty from ashes. And that is how God can use me. A night that I didn't have to feel defeated because I am not defeated.  Christ who died for my sins lives and reigns and the Spirit is living in me.  And when the Spirit prompts, don't quench it. I am not defeated. Greater is He who is living in me than he who is living in the world. After our big group hug and four kids tucked into bed, I went downstairs.  I praised God for forgiveness and the freedom we have in Christ.  And then I went straight back up to each one of them for some 'noses' because mama rushed past that during our bed time routine. And it was so sweet. God is so good. 

"Your children are the greatest gift God will give to you, and their souls the heaviest responsibility He will place in your hands.  Take time with them, teach them to have faith in God, be a person whom they can have faith.  When you are old nothing else you've done will matter as much." -Lisa Wingate

"There is no such thing as a perfect parent.  Just be a real one." -Sue Atkins


And now for the links:

The Day My Son Gave Up On Me by Lauren Cormier at The Huffington Post Blog

The Hidden Years of Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom by Emily Wierenga at The Better Mom

 

The Hard 'No' (Consistency with a Strong Willed Child) by Shannon McKee

 

3 Ways To Raise a Pharisee by Loving My Lot

Made: Homemade Baby Wipes

Why am I just doing this after my fourth child?!  Oh, probably because it's now that I have four children that I realize how fast we go through wipes and how that extra money we will save can go toward diapers! (nope...no plans of cloth diapering here!!)

 

A friend made her own baby wipes and gave me a few to try.  I loved them! Super moist and worked just fine.  So I gave it a try. 

 

I am making my own wipes completely for the savings in money. 

Don't judge me, but the contents of what is in the wipes wasn't what drove me to do this.  So I didn't need to use this recipe. 

 

I used a combination of this recipe and this recipe, which I found by just doing a quick search online.

 

One problem I was seeing was everyone uses plastic containers for the wipes.  I wanted to use an old wipes container.  Cutting the paper towel roll in half like the recipes suggest wouldn't fit in the container. But then I saw Kitchen Stewardship said if you cut the roll into 1/3s it will fit in the old wipes case.  So that is what I tried.

 

Here is how I made them with my own ingredients and instructions:

 

Ingredients:

-container (I used an old pampers wipe container)

-1 roll paper towel (MUST be high quality.  Most suggested Bounty. I used Viva-I got 6 rolls/$5 on a sale)

-2 Tablespoons baby wash (I used Up and Up (Target Brand)--we just refill this pump bottle with whatever we buy)

-2 Tablespoons Coconut Oil

-1 cup water

-a splash of vinegar (supposed to help prevent mold, which I won't need next time because we went through them fast enough. I wasn't sure, so I figured I'd add it this time)

 

 

Directions:

1. Cut paper towel into 1/3s. The first cut I used the knife on the right.  The second cut I used an electric knife.  Both took muscle.  My arm was less tired after the electric knife.

 

2. Boil water

3. Add oil and baby wash

4. Place paper towel roll in container and pour water mixture over top. 

 

 

 

5. Flip container upside down for 5 minutes

6. Remove cardboard center.  Mine came out so easy.

 

7. Transfer to whatever container you will use.

8. Pull the end that is in the center of the roll straight up.

We have had these almost a week now.  We are happy with them.  Cutting into 1/3s makes them small, so I have to use more than I would if the roll was halved.  But even using more, it is still going to be cheaper than buying wipes.  I didn't know it was so easy and could use what I already had on hand.  I just made one roll up and put the other two that I cut into a plastic bag.  I plan to make a mixture to pour over those tomorrow.  I wanted to do one trial run before making several at a time. 

Do not make these far in advance because they will mold or dry out.  But the nice thing is, it doesn't take long at all to make a mixture up! And I always have baby wash on hand.  Some posts used baby oil, but I thought the coconut oil would have added benefits. Plus it just sits in my cupboard so at least now it has a good use:)

If you give it a try, please let me know if you like them!!  I'm planning to make some more and will accordion fold them into a travel case for the diaper bag.

My Mommy Minute: September 24

Hi Friends, 

The quote below encouraged me this week. I am too prone to forget that mothering is done for His glory. I am a mother only because God allowed it. It is a gift. Too often I am making it about my needs and wants or about my children's needs and wants. Doing things for anyone else's glory and happiness will leave us with emptiness and longing for more. That's because it is sin and because there IS more. Finding joy in Him and Him alone and doing it all for His glory. And it's a beautiful thing when that happens because the needs of my children are fulfilled and hearts are happy. Sometimes it is frustrating that I am so prone to wander.  Yet, it is also a constant reminder that I have not arrived at the prize and must continue to be disciplined and grow. And oh, how it makes me long for heaven!

"If my chief end as a mother is anything less than knowing Him and carrying His glory in my life, I will walk through these years empty." -Sara Hagerty

"Every experience in life is designed to magnify the cross of Christ." -John Piper

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men" Colossians 3:23

Glorifying God in the Routines by Gloria Furman at Ligonier

The #ILoveYou Challenge for Moms by Emily Wierenga at The Better Mom

What the Books Don't Say by Katie Blackburn at Coffee + Crumbs
 

Grace and the Adventure of Motherhood by Nicole Whitacre at GirlTalk

So Much To Do, So Little Time for Jesus by Linda Green at True Woman

Tot School: What Have We Been Up To?

My tot school posts had come to a stop for a few reasons.
One is because we completed all the BFIAR books I wanted to.  There were more from the list of books I wanted to do but the library didn't have them and they are crazy expensive online to purchase.  We sure did have fun with BFIAR and I plan to repeat the books again when all the kids can be included and I can add in different levels of difficulty and variances in activities. 

Another reason there haven't been posts is because I'm just not taking pictures! Lately we've just been doing life here.  Having fun, playing, reading, and making memories.  We've still been doing some fun things and pulling activities from the cupboard.  But there hasn't been a huge focus on learning specific things like colors and letters.  Our learning is happening as we go and we've just been doing a lot of painting, playdough, and pretend play.  I want to focus on being in the moment with my kids when we are playing, so I haven't taken as many photos as before.  It's hard to divide attention three ways as well as a camera....so the camera has to be the one to go:) 


I read this blog post and wanted to share it.  Take it how you want, but I think it was good to read and think on.  Right now, we plan to homeschool when that times comes.  But as this fall was approaching and everyone was talking 'back to school' talk it dawned on me that I have a child who technically could be in preschool.  Raelynn will be 4 the end of January.  I was suddenly wondering if we should or needed to be doing structured curriculum and I was really really really not wanting to. Not yet! This woman's words reminded me that it is ok to take the structure off of learning and not to push anything too early and too soon.
However, I do like structure in the day and if I don't have things planned then it's hard to come up with the ideas.  The kids all love crafts and doing activities so much, so I want to provide that for them. Sometimes I forget that even though we aren't doing an 'activity' we are still doing things together and learning.  Just this week, Declan learned to pull up and down his pants.  Elliana can put on her socks and shoes.  Raelynn has learned to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Those are big moments! Must not forget that!  And must remember to slow down and savor these years when school isn't a must and we can take all the time we want to to just enjoy truly playing.  Soon they won't need mommy to read their books or be their patient at the doctor.

Here is a peak into what we've been doing lately.  Just a lot of random stuff, but I've got the pictures, so I want to post them here before deleting from my phone.  

The kids love tic tacs! We had an empty container and they enjoyed filling it with beans. All three bigs played with this. Great motor skill practice.

Playing grocery store! A favorite of ours.  I've been saving boxes to stock our 'shelves'.  The only problem is then storing it all when we want to put it away.  This is something I play with them as they need a little help taking turns being the cashier and sharing the items on the shelf to buy.  We saved some old plastic cards and they use the magna-doodle as the credit card slot.  I don't think they are quite ready for money, so we stick with the credit card.  Soon it will be fun to get a pretend cash register and money! 

Raelynn standing in the check out line with her list, coupon in hand, and phone tucked under her arm! haha.  Only thing she is missing is a baby strapped to her in the ergo....oh, and two in the cart and one walking next to her....then she'd look just like mama:)

Sorting colors.  Why do my kids not enjoy this?? The puff balls just always end up all over the floor.

We successfully can play with play dough and none of it goes in the mouth! :)  They are getting better and rolling it out and using cookie cutters and the different tools we have.

Loving jigsaw puzzles.  Declan can now do them all by himself as long as there is a border and outlined pieces. 

This knife from pampered chef is so great!! Raelynn loves helping in the kitchen and I love having her help in the kitchen.  Her toddler knives didn't always cut it. (haha.) This knife is safe for kids! She is helping me cut up Colt's beans and carrots:)

Our aprons are always handy.  We cook a lot.  One way I keep my sanity is to have my kids help in the kitchen.  Kitchen prep--whether breakfast, lunch, or dinner, can be stressful because I'm committed to the counter and the kids are running wild.  They usually want to help, so I try to find something for them to do.  And some days we just make things for the fun of it:)

We have been reading a lot! But you can never read too much, right?! We go to the library every two weeks and get new books.  Whenever we have time we are reading.  Raelynn and Declan are enjoying the story books now so it's fun.

A tea party!! Amazing how the presentation of something can make it so exciting.  We had water for most of the party, then I did give them a little tea, too.:) They LOVE this!

 

They really like the song "Down By The Bay"  (you know....down by the bay, where the watermelons grow? back to my home, I dare not go.  For if I do, my mother will say.....)

 

So we made watermelons and I extended the activity for Raelynn by counting the seeds and writing the numbers.

Declan enjoyed using the glue stick for the first time.  Then I put little dots of glue for him to put the seeds on.  Good practice for one-to-one correspondence.

I was going back and forth helping the twins, and before I knew it Raelynn had completed her entire craft all by herself! She is getting so big!  It was great to see her take the lead and just go with it and make it how she wanted. 

Elliana had a hard time with the glue stick, so I put the glue on the papers and she stuck them on.  She liked it a lot and then liked ripping the papers off even more:)

Raelynn wrote her own name all by herself!! I had no idea she could do this!

Playing "Ants in the Pants"

We pulled this activity out again and I wrote numbers on the pieces to extend the activity for Raelynn.

Declan has been wanting to glue anything he can now

We read a book we have called "Going on a Picnic" and we used our plastic picnic set to go on a picnic in our fort. 

 

My Mommy Minute: September 12

Hi friends,

Two posts. So good.  Rachel Jankovic is so solid.  She is in the trenches of motherhood and speaks truth to us from experience while also living in it daily.  I love reading her writing because she is so talented at writing and because she basically it's like reading my own thoughts just written much better (and funnier!).  She never fails to point us to the Word and speak truth to encourage our hearts.

 

Funner part 1 by Rachel Jankovic at Femina

Funner: part 2 by Rachel Jankovic at Femina

My Mommy Minute: September 5

 Hi friends,

 

This is the second Mommy Minute coming to you this week because there are just so many good reads out there! Keeping the list short again.  All of these are good and worth the read. 

 

I hope you are encouraged and filled with joy.  Press on, mama.  Work out your salvation with fear and trembling and do not forget that Christ is our rock and our hiding place.  In Him and Him alone is our righteousness found.  Our lives are in His hand. From the smiles to the tears. God is always good.  All the time. To God be the glory. Have a great weekend!



 

 

"I'll referee another squabble and pick up disparate shoes and coats and happily clean food wrappers from under the seats of our suburban for the God who whispers 'I love it when you serve them and no one knows.'"

-Sara Hagerty

I Forgive You Mom by Natalie Falls at The Better Mom
Wow.  It is like she reads my journal. So true and so beautiful. If we fail to glorify God in our actions toward our children, we can glorify Him as we reconcile with them, repent, and ask for forgiveness. 

 

Is Being a Stay At Home Mom Enough? by Abbie at Unsteady Saint
We are enough when we are in Jesus.

Are You Tired of Waiting on the Lord? by Colleen Chao at True Woman

We are all waiting on something it seems.  If we aren't, then we probably know someone who is and could use encouragement.

5 Ways to Move from Overwhelmed to Overjoyed by Rachel Wojnarowski

I agree with these five points.  I also think it's helpful to step back and look at my schedule. Am I too busy? If I'm always carting my kids around then we don't have time to work on training them at home. It is much harder to train in public. Also recognizing what triggers me helps a lot.  Knowing my points of weakness has helped me grow in this area. Trying to get somewhere on time early in the morning is just one example:)  What about you? Do you have any to add?

My Mommy Minute: September 1

Hello friends,

Happy September! I bet for many of you it's a bitter sweet time....good bye summer, right?  But for me it's hello cooler weather!! So I'm very excited for fall:)

Good reads here.  Some have been linked up already in a past post, but I wanted to include them here as well.  Kept the list short because they are all SO worth reading.  Such good stuff here.

"God works through faithful parents who,

 in spite of dark and difficult days,

walk obediently to him."

-Elizabeth George

Joy Can't Die by Rachel Jankovic at Femina

When School Starts by Kristin Chesemore at GirlTalk

It's Their Day, Too by Katie Blackburn at Coffee + Crumbs

 

The Hidden Years of Being a Stay at Home Mom by Emily Wierenga at The Better Mom

A Mother's Job Is Never Done

I shared this letter as a recommended post in the last My Mommy Minute post.  I was so happy I came across it and really enjoyed it.  In fact, I sent the link to my sister as soon as I finished and said "I plan to share this in a MMM but thought it was good and wanted to share right now."  I liked it.  I really did. 

But there was a part of it that I have been thinking about.  I thought of it when I shared it and now ten days later it is still floating in my brain so I'm going to jot some of my thoughts down. 

I loved how the author said that after a baby we will be different.  We will.  No doubt.  And all those ways she said we would be different I could relate to and agree with....except one.

She says:

 "You will learn to love fiercely and wildly without expectations, and for the first time in your whole life, your heart will default to selflessness—a part of you that always existed but was buried deep down inside—waiting for this moment, this change, this baby, this occasion to rise."

 

 

I know it's safe to say I'm not the only one that struggles with this.  Just because I experienced the miracle of childbirth both in my womb and through adoption, my heart doesn't always default to selflessness. 

 

Now,  know I'm not being nit picky with this.  And I am not trying to pick her post apart.  I'm trying to dig deeper and look at my heart and what I can do about what I have noticed.

 

 

I love my children. LOVE LOVE LOVE them.  But I also love myself a lot too much.

 

If there is one thing I have learned about motherhood it is sacrifice.  As a mom, we now have someone completely dependent upon us and who may need us at all hours of the night. And that is a high privilege.

 

I chose to have my children, both through birth and adoption.  I know children are a blessing. Yet laying my life down for them isn't always top on my list.  Of course I would say it is, and overall, yes it does unfold that way.  But I'm talking in those mundane moments.  Those middle of the night moments.  Those hot and sweaty hundred degree summer moments.  Those you just want some peace and quiet moments. Those moments.

 

I don't always want to get up at 2:30am to nurse my baby. 
I don't like to get up from the dinner table to get a cup of water.
I don't enjoy when I must stop making dinner to referee a sibling squabble.
I don't want to get out the crafts because I will have a mess to clean.
I'm tempted to overlook a sinful disobedience because I just don't feel like dealing with it. again.

When it is bedtime (or naptime) I like to do our routine and then it's done. Four kids in bed and now a couple hours to myself.  But when I huff my breath or roll of my eyes when I hear "Mommy....I need you" coming through the monitor, it shows my heart.

And all glory to God, that I can say that it's not like this 100% of the time.  But it is still some of the time.  And that, is too much of the time.

So how can we mamas handle this?  What does the Word of God say about this?

I am not perfect.  I am still a sinner in need of grace.  Daily.  I am being sanctified and maybe when my kids are all grown I will finally be selfless....but I doubt it.

Though I am not sinless, I must remember that I am a new creation. I have the Holy Spirit living in me and by His grace and power, I can choose to honor Him. In our human nature, we are selfish.  To be selfless and giving of ourselves is supernatural.  But as believers, we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing!

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him." (Eph 1:3-4)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." (2 Cor 5:17)

"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, through the knowledge of him who called to us his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire." (2 Peter 1:3)

We must escape the belief that is in the world because of the sinful desire of selfishness.  We do not "deserve" time to have to ourselves.  (So many thoughts on this, but I will refrain for now or this will get too long! And no, I'm not talking about extremes here!!) Just because I put hours on the clock of being a mommy doesn't mean I "earned" some time to check out of life and zone out on facebook. If I worked hard over preparing dinner but my children ask me to read them a story afterward, I need to escape the thinking that I don't need to lay down my life any more for them that day. Being a mom is now part of us.  Our identity is in Christ, but it is part of who we are.  It requires all of us all the time.

Our lives are not about us. Or even about our children.  It is about Him.

"and he died for all, that those who love might no longer live for themselves but for him who died for their sake and was raised." (2 Cor 5:15)

Our hearts wander and we forget that we are here to serve God.  Every fiber of our being is made for His glory. We get too focused on ourselves and our pleasure and start taking stock of how much we have given to our children and how much we haven't gotten in return. It is only because of Him that we have life and that we are entrusted with the lives of our children.

I'm not saying it is selfish to want a shower alone.  Or a chance to be able to paint your nails. Or look at your choice of social media. Or have a conversation with a friend. Or have quiet time in the Word. It's not selfish to not want my child to crawl all over me while I try to eat breakfast. But my reaction can be sinful and selfish. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45)

It's about the heart. Let's focus on putting on selflessness by sacrificing and loving as Jesus did.
Though I cannot take the heavy sigh or the harsh tone I blurted out at my child, I can repent and ask their forgiveness and by God's grace and His work in our lives we will be made more into His likeness. And it will slowly be put off and rear its ugly head less and less. 

Maybe selflessness looks like this.  The putting aside our agendas and wants to serve our children.  To see them not as interruptions, but instead to have them come along side us.  One load of laundry may be all that was accomplished on my to do list because my three year old helped fold.  The silverware may be in the drawer upside down and backward because my two year old emptied the dishwasher.  When my one year old brings me a pair of her shoes to put on her again-because she loves them so-I will take the time to do it.  And when my teething baby needs extra cuddles and nursing that day, I will put aside the things I thought needed to be done and planned to do.  (please don't neglect your homes! That isn't what I'm saying!!) Stop and be present.  That is often what selflessness can look like as we serve our children.  And when we are present, we will find joy.  These are the moments that we will remember when we look back at raising our children. And what God intended for us to get done that day will get done.

Pray for joy.  Pray for generosity and sensitive conscience. Pray for a sacrificial heart that would find joy in laying down our lives and preferences for our children.  It is easy to think "well I'm the mom, so I get to have it my way..." But is that what is most glorifying to God? Is there anything that could even come close to the sacrifice that was made for us?
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." (Phil 2:3-8)

Pray as Jonathon Edwards used to pray: that God would "stamp eternity on my eyeballs."

Gloria Furman writes in her book practical application for mothers from Psalm 119:
 "I want to hope in God when my kids wake me up before my alarm.  I want to love God's word all day when I'm entrenched in the mundane work around my house.  I want to meditate on God's promises and praise him and remember him when I'm up with the baby at midnight and at 3am (and 10pm, 2am, and 5am during growth spurts).  According to Psalm 119, there is no time of the day or night when God's word is not relevant to our lives.  Even as we're more preoccupied with getting school lunches made and outfits chosen for family pictures, God's word can raise our gaze to the horizon of eternity." (page 54)
"I remember your name in the night, O Lord, and keep your law." (vs 55)
"At midnight I rise to praise you, because of your righteous rules." (vs 62)
"Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day." (vs 97)
"I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in your words." (vs 147)
"My eyes are awake before the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promise." (vs 148)

I came across another great GirlTalk blog post that referenced a book that I have read (and may I also add that he is a pastor in my church's association, past speaker at our church's conference and also lives in Holland, MI where I went to college....so I was very excited to see this reference from someone I have actually met!)

         "In his book, Womanly Dominion, Mr. Chanski brings us encouragement right where we need it:

“There she sits exhausted on the edge of her bed, her face in her hands, wondering, “Where’s the glory in this?”

She needs something more empowering to keep her going.

She needs to gain and maintain the deep conviction of the glory, honor, and nobility of selfless service. This she finds at the foot of the cross, looking up to the One who earned for Himself “the name which is above every name” (Philippians 2:9), by “emptying Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant” (2:7), humbling “Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (2:8). There she beholds her Savior who mopped up the damning vomit of her own sin with the precious sponge of His perfect life and atoning death. The love of Christ constrains and compels her to press on (2 Corinthians 5:14). The Spirit of Christ empowers her” (pp. 120-121, emphasis mine)."

Ladies, the glory is in the worship.  The nobility is in our sacrifice.  The honor is in the praise we bring our Savior. Our mothering is our act of worship. When we choose to see the million tasks our children require of us each day as opportunities to worship, we will find joy there. When we gaze our eyes upon the cross we can love.  So when you find yourself, as I sometimes do, lacking joy or feeling mundane and growing weary, take heart.  Refresh your mind with God's Word and remember that those little ordinary tasks that blend in day after day are meaningful to Him.  And He is the only one who sees your heart and the attitude we have while doing them. Work unto Him. To Him be the glory.

"We love only because he first loved us". (1 John 4:19)

And we must remember, His mercies are new every morning.  Every hour.  Every moment. Because we won't always worship.  We will whine.  We will fail.  But we will hide ourselves in the One who gives us rest and who's power is made perfect in our weakness.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  The Lord is my portion says my soul, therefore I will hope in him." (Lam 3:22-24)

"'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Cor 12:9)


Jesus paid it all.  We are righteous in Christ and we are forgiven of sin.  Of our selfishness. We are forgiven and free.  Free to love and free to lay down our lives.  Free to let love reign and run this race to the finish line.

"For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." (2 Cor 5:21)

My Mommy Minute: August 18

Hi Friends,
It's been a while.  Some good links here.  I pray this finds you well and finding joy in the journey. 

Dear mama, please remember--God has given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).

We have a lot of responsibility.  A lot on our plates and our arms are full.  Look around you.  Look at your "list"-the one on the counter or the one in your head.  Now think about it again.  God's number one job for you today is caring for your precious children He has given to you.  It's easy to forget that, isn't it? These children are not ours.  God is so gracious to give them to us to care for and we are to raise them so they will return to Him one day.  And today God's job for me and for you is high and lofty.  It is what God has called us to do and should be top priority.  It is our joy as well as our struggle.   But we can rise to the task at hand.  By God's grace we can and will respond to this responsibility and all the little tasks within it with passion and joy.  Enjoy the moments today that come at you.  Stop and enjoy them.  Now go make some memories:)

Today's list is short and sweet:

Viral Anxiety by Gloria Furman at Crossway

Earth Bound Parenting by Paul David Tripp

My Not-So-Pinterest Life by Emily T. Wierenga at The MOB Society
 

A Letter To My Pre Mom Self by Ashlee Gadd at Coffee + Crumbs

My Mommy Minute: July 24

Hi friend,
There are more posts here than usual because they are all so good.  I hope you are finding joy in your full hands this week.  In your busy homes and in the moments that are repeated day after day.  Allow those moments to turn your heart to worship our God who has seen fit to fill your days with them.

"I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever.  Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever.  Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable." Psalm 145:1-3

A Mom's Battle Cry for Perseverance by Heidi Jo Fulk at True Woman
Her days sound A LOT like mine!

Our Children, Our Neighbors by Jen Wilkin
Oh, this one is SO good!!! Something I have been thinking about lately and she puts it so well.
"It is true that our children are God-given responsibilities we are to steward. But we will only steward them as we should by remembering that, first and foremost, our children are people we are to treasure. When we treasure our children as our neighbors, we remove from our discipline any hint of condemnation, shame or contempt. We alter our language to communicate love and value, even when we must speak words of correction. And we replace our prayers of “please fix my frustrating child” with prayers of “please help me to love the little neighbor You have placed in my home, even as You have loved me.”

Eek! Whose Children Are These? by Erin Davis at True Woman
A good reminder what an important role we have and how we need to step it up and not hide our head in the sand in the hard times.

 

Help Wanted: Looking for Someone to Make My Kids Love the Bible by Jessica Thompson at Crossway  "Why do we expect our children to be any different than we are?"

 When You Are Tightly Wound by Kate Baer
Love this quote: “Isn’t it funny how parenting works out? It’s just so loud, even when they are asleep. You can never turn parenting off. It’s a good thing it’s what we always wanted, isn’t it?”

Reversing the Downhill Trend of Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss at True Woman
 

Do Not Fear

***I will preface this post with this:
I've had this drafted for a while and have been too fearful (go figure!) to publish it.  But recently I have had several things happen that I believe is providence and encouragement to publish this.  I know I'm not the only one who struggles.  And I'm not going to pretend I don't.  God is glorified though my weaknesses. I find so much encouragement others and we are called to encourage one another.  I know I'm not a good writer and that's why I wouldn't say I'm a 'blogger' by any means.  But I do have thoughts swarming in my head and I want to help build up other moms through these words on the screen--even if they are full of grammatical errors, lack proper transitions, and are completely inadequate. I am not one who is very wise and I am not one who is very experienced.  Though having four children, I've only been at this for just over three years.  I'm learning as I go and what I write is a result. 
**********************************************************************************

 

'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Fear.  A four letter word that I didn't think I really struggled with in my life.  I trust God, I'm not one that I would consider really "scared" of anything (unless of course there is a closet door cracked just far enough for an eye ball to be peering out.  That I do not like!). I am aware that I must keep careful watch on my anxiety prone heart, but overall, I full rest in God's sovereignty and control.

Anger.  Another word that I didn't think I struggled with.  But wow, looking back over my life I see it has always been there.  Anger is an ugly sin and can be disguised and show it's ugliness in many ways.

My children are a blessing to me for many reasons.  One of the reasons is they bring me great JOY.  Another reason though, is they lead me to great repentance.  They are the instruments God has given to me in my life to reveal my sin to me.  Unfortunately not only is it revealed to me, but also to those that I love.  The ones that are dearest to me are the ones who are harmed the most.

My anger is put on display as I crush the spirits of my children.  I can rejoice that God is showing me more about the root of it.  By God's grace I am able to put off the old man and become more like Him.  It is a process that takes time and through it God reveals more of Himself to me as He conforms me to the likeness of Christ.  Oh, that's called sanctification.

I thought I was angry because I want control.
I thought I was angry because I'm selfish.

I thought I was angry because I'm impatient.

But I'm seeing there is a deeper cause for this sinful anger.

Fear.

I am learning that a root of my anger is I am fearful.  I don't think I would have ever correlated the two.  Fear shows up in ways I was not expecting. Fear is driving my anger, which also leads into the desire to control.  It leads me to impatience.  

Now, hear loud and clear, fear is not the only cause.  My pride and lack of self control are just as big of a factor in my outpouring of anger, but recognizing that it can stem from fear is helping me overcome it.

My kids are standing and jumping on something, I yell for them to get down. I'm fearful they will get hurt.
My son is taking too long to get in his car seat.  I cut him down with my words because fear is driving my thought that we may be late.
My kids are playing happily but I get angry and take away their fun because I don't want them to wake the baby.  I'm fearful that I will be interrupted in what I'm trying to accomplish during his nap.
My daughter is so hungry for attention she will act like a fool to get it. She will do anything to get people to look at her and smile or laugh. I am not gentle with my words to correct her and instruct her. I'm fearful she will turn to worldly things and men for attention.
My child lacks self control in the little things. I'm fearful she will lack self control in the big things later in life.

My child constantly wants things she doesn't have. I fear she is discontent and will grow up to be jealous of those around her.

In all the above situations, my lack of self control has vomited out of my mouth the sinfulness of what is in my heart.  Lack of self control is a whole different topic, one which would make this far too long to read.  I want to focus on the fear.

I'm fearful of the present, but moreover I am fearful if the future.  Things that could happen in the next five minutes, five years, or fifteen years. But the future is not in my hands and the fear in me only displays the worry and lack of trust I have.

There are two types of worry: spiritual and material.  earthly and heavenly.

I do not struggle with fear of earthly things. I know God will provide and I know He will care for me and my family. 

It's the spiritual fear I struggle with. It is a temptation to idolize the salvation of my children. Yes, it is something I should and need to care about and be concerned with. Yes it is something I should be on my knees in prayer for pleading with The Lord to save them. It is something I should desire to see, but I am commanded not to worry about it.

 

In the childish and often foolish behavior they show, I see the sins of my children on display and it scares me.  It brings me great fear that I see the same sin that I struggle with or had struggled with before God saved me. Seeing the sin in them angers me.  why? Maybe it is because I forget they are fallen and sinful. I think it is partly that, but more so that I fear them living their life in sin and apart from Christ. Sometimes the sin of our children is a mirror back to us. Either a mirror to the current sin we struggle with or a look into our past. 

Why do I say no to my children's requests? As I ponder this I realize that often the requests are harmless, yet I in fear say no.  Being free from this fear would make life more joyful!  And the good news is that as a child of God, I AM FREE from this fear! I have all I need for life and godliness! (2 Peter 1:3) But there is still a struggle. Worry is a sin and stems from a lack of true understanding of God.  God offers worry free living, but we must understand the promises and purposes of God in order to have a worry free life. A life free of fear.

Scripture tells me in 2 Timothy 1:7,  "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." I need to remember that when I am fearful it is because I am leaning on my own flesh and strength, because that does not come from God.

Why do I fear the future for my children? Maybe because I know how I fail daily to properly love and train them.

Why do I live as if God's grace will run out? I am a living testimony of the work God can do in a heart and the transformation it can have on a life. 

Why do I fear God will hold that back from my children? I know that God knows who his elected children are, and I can pray my children are among the chosen. But worry and fear of the future will not add their names to the book of life. God is still in the business of saving souls and instead of me worrying about them, I need to focus more on the character of God, reflect Him to my children, and trust my heavenly father.

I want so badly to control my children's salvation, when in all reality I should be so thankful that I'm NOT in control of it because I'd be certain to mess it up and fail!! Praise God he uses us broken vessels and fallen people as part of the plan but that the control rests in His hands.

And apparently it isn't going to get easier as my kids get older.  My friend Wendy writes some wisdom and shares her personal story at re:flect-I.

 

So what am I to do?  None of these will cure anger.  It is a process.  Recognizing that the anger may stem from fear is a starting point.  Though it is a work of the Holy Spirit in me, Scripture tells me that I must work out my salvation as well.

"So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling" Phil 2:12

Trust in His promises:

"So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth." 1 Cor 3:7

Raise my arrows:

"Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

Pray:
For their salvation, for our patience, for joy in the mundane, for wisdom.
"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:3

Be Humble, Repent, and Ask for forgiveness:
Something that we are commanded to do and makes a noticeable difference is to truly humble myself and ask for forgiveness from my child--or even all of them at the same time.  I know my heart is only humbled by the work of the Holy Spirit, so I must be willing to be molded and humbled.  My children are always so quick to forgive.  It's amazing how it works almost as a reset button--if I am proud and do not seek their forgiveness, it is like I enter in a downward spiral and it continues.  The opposite is also true--when fellowship is restored and sin is confessed and forgiven, we can continue on in joy.  It is a beautiful thing.
"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you."  1 Peter 5:6-7

Put off worry, anger, and impatience:
Be willing to be molded.  Pray to see sin and recognize it. Remember who is in control. Am I getting angry over something that really matters? Am I impatient because we really need to go somewhere or just because I'm always in a rush? Slow down and enjoy life with my children. Laugh. Give a gentle answer. Trust in Him.

Put on love, mercy, grace, and kindness
 Reflect Christ in all I do and point them to Him. When I imitate Christ, He will be glorified as they are pointed to Him. And when I fail to imitate Christ, because I will, I will humble myself, ask forgiveness, and repent. In that He will also be glorified as that points them to Him.
As moms we need to get past the point of trying to be perfect for our kids--instead we need to let them see how imperfect we are as we point them to the One who humbled himself all the way to death on a cross for us.

 

Memorize scripture

Both verses that will help put on and put off.  If God's word is hidden in my heart, I can stop the fear inside me before it erupts into anger and a loss of self control.

"I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:11

 

Songs for Saplings

   

Have you heard of Songs for Saplings? 

We have owned this music for a couple years but have recently started enjoying it more now that Raelynn can sing along. 

I HIGHLY recommend either buying their CDs or downloading their FREE digital downloads HERE

It is a wonderful teaching tool to teach Scripture as well as reinforce some of the catechism questions.
It doesn't follow an exact catechism, but some of the questions overlap.

So generous of them to offer these resources to us for free!!!